Do You Want Your Tribe To Be Happy And Close?

Do You Want Your Tribe To Be Happy And Close?

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Be Transparent For Your Tribe

Open Up And Be Real

Willingness to open up to members of your tribe is a HUGE step! In the TedTalk by Brené Brown that follows, she talks about vulnerability and the impact it can have on our lives. It is not easy to "put yourself out there" because you risk ridicule, scorn, and abuse. But the benefits of "being real" with people far outweigh the risks. Once you are truly known by others you will feel so much more alive. As Brené puts it, "The ability to feel connected… is why we are here." She goes on to say that "The thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we are not worthy of connection. Having the courage to let go of who we think we should be in order to be who we are is absolutely what we have to do in order to have true connection with others."

For more on how it works, check this out:

At TalknTribe we have watched this insightful talk by Brene Brown called “The Power Of Vulnerability” multiple times and each time have found it helpful. The way Brené "keeps it real” while sharing her story and what she has learned is really inspiring. She makes us think and laugh and dream about what we can accomplish if we learn to live more authentically.   

Let Your Personal Experience Support What You Say

If you are the leader of the tribe, your team will not risk letting you see them for who they are until you are open with them. In our experience the leadership burden becomes a lot lighter when we are truly authentic with our tribe. Speaking from personal experience also leaves very little room for misunderstanding or argument. Once they see that the team is a safe place, members are more willing to share their experiences, thoughts and ideas.  

Tell Your Tribe What Your Dreams And Goals Are

Tell Them Yours. Listen Carefully To Theirs.

Invest some time thinking about what you dream of doing and also what you believe you need to accomplish to make your life better. Talk about these things with your tribe. Encourage each team member to do the same. Listen to and affirm what they say.

Take The Leap

Strengthen your tribe today by being open and vulnerable with them. You will receive much more in return than you ever imagined! 

Blog About Belonging

16 Feb 2022

What Can I do to Connect with People?

There have to be many different ways to connect meaningfully with people. We are physiologically similar yet respond differently to life experiences. 

In my opinion, people become who they are because of what they remember. A memory can be made in an instant–like planting a seed in some soil. A memory filled with enough emotion will grow to fill a person and eventually define them in some way. 

Connecting with someone involves being with them long enough to experience the emotion this memory still creates. 

How many ways can you think of to “Be there” for someone? Can you think of some examples from your own experience?


One that comes to my mind happened recently enough that it is still quite clear and emotionally charged.

First, a little background… My occupation is mechanical engineering which I’ve been actively employed in for over 20 years. I love to solve problems by creating machinery or physical products. 

A year ago I was asked if I was confident the product I had designed and tested would work. 

“You realize, Tim, that we are spending over $25,000 a month on this and we don’t even have a product to sell yet!” They said in a way that convinced me that the survival of all that the company had invested was hanging on me saying “I’m confident it will work!”

How could I continue to hold the cloud of impending financial doom over their heads by saying “we need to test this in the real world for a while before I can be 100% confident in it!”

“I’m 99% confident it will work.” I blurted with as much confidence as I could muster, knowing that I was not more than 85% confident.

Today, they called me... 

“The product doesn’t work! It won’t do what we say it will and we‘ve built 26 of the systems. 20 are packed into a 20 foot shipping container leaving for Brazil tomorrow!”

You can guess what echoed back through my thoughts on hearing their words… 

That’s right; “I’m 99% confident this product will work.” 99% confident… 99%...

On top of that echo was what I imagined they were thinking…

“This is what Tim means when he says he is 99% confident?! We can’t trust Tim to mean what he says! Why are we paying Tim to design a product that doesn’t work?!”

All of a sudden, my thoughts started the ever narrowing spiral around my own black hole of doom. No job, means no income, which means living on the street without medicine, leading to sickness and certain death of my family and the life that we are accustomed to, and enjoy!

I barely held myself together the rest of the workday.

This is the kind of experience that I don’t tell my wife and daughter while the problem is unsolved!  

They weren’t home when I returned from work, so there was no need to put up a show of confidence I did not feel.

Deciding to risk unsolicited advice, I texted Dad to see when he would be available for a talk by himself. No different than most sons, my relationship with Dad is complicated.

“Dad?” I said to the man on the other end of the phone, “I need to talk with you about something.”

“Alright” he said. 

My story unfolded for a few minutes ending with “I feel worthless and untrustworthy.”

Silence…

I did not know what it would take for me to escape the tightening spiral of doom. I did not know if it was possible for someone else to pull me out of it. Wasn’t this something I had to endure and overcome on my own?

The words of his response did not get stored in my memory. 

The emotion of his response touched me. It was equal to my own.

I wept silently, while I heard the mirror of my emotion expressed in his own words. 

Weeping was an outward expression of the relief and rest that I was experiencing on the inside. 

This is what people mean when they say “he was there for me.”

With this relief and rest, I experienced renewed hope for the future. 

Light at the end of the tunnel. 

A beautiful sunrise after deep darkness.

I felt motivated to get up the next morning to solve the problem I had created.

I also left this interaction with a personal experience of the awesome reward that comes from “being there” for someone you love: The power of connection and belonging. 

I would love to hear your experience with being there for someone or with someone being there for you in the comment section below.

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